For Anja

 The angriest water-birth baby ever I’ve known, 

blurts the midwife

as the child arrives furious, 

baulking, yowling, thrashing.

Through naïve attempts to soothe,

read the runes, she cries.

They feed her, clean her, change her

but still she cries.

They try old wives’ remedies, 

gripe water of this and tincture of that

but still she cries, kicks her legs,

face wrinkled and puce as fig pulp. 

Then they cry too, grow fractious 

with one another and so tired 

they sleep right through all her crying. 

And by the dawn tide, 

she’s dropped her squalls,

gurgles lapping at their crow’s feet. 

Jonathan Edis is a dad, poet, osteopath & international lecturer from the London-Essex ‘burbs, living in southeast London, UK. He’s been published by The Honest Ulsterman, Ink Sweat & Tears, Green Ink Poetry & the AUB Poetry Prize. He loves cinema, history, running & listening to the cricket on TMS.