The doorbell rang, and although I knew who was behind the door, my I could feel my anxiety rise at the thought of needing to be social. I knew I couldn’t avoid this forever, but was hopeful this was at least a baby step to feeling a little more like myself again. This was a first that I did not think would be so hard to conquer. Taking a deep breath as I opened the door, Amy had already started to make her way into the hall, excited for our catch up.
“Umm… come in why don’t you?” I hesitantly mumbled under breath, but I don’t think she noticed.
“It’s so good to see you again! Honestly, you don’t look like you just popped out a baby!”
“Thanks, I guess? Ahh, coffee? Tea?”
“Tea please. Did you want me to do it for you or did you want me to stay with little Lucas?”
“I’ll do it, that’s ok.”
Life as I knew it had completely changed. Who would have thought it would have changed this much, this quickly? I mean, I knew it was going to change after giving birth, but I just didn’t realise how much it would make me feel like a shadow of my former self. Ok focus. Where did I keep the cups again? Does Amy want sugar? Milk? Wait, was it tea or coffee again? I felt myself beginning to get overwhelmed again. Maybe it was too soon – what made me think I was ready to finally take the leap in inviting people over. I turned my back to the counter, ready to ask my questions again, but was surprised to see Amy standing there with Lucas happily in her arms, his eyes taking in every detail of the room.
“Are you ok?”
“Um, yeah. I may have forgotten where I keep my coffee cups, and perhaps what you wanted me to make.” I wiped my eyes, hoping she assumed it was from exhaustion, not because I was due for my next breakdown.
Amy started giggling, like she thought of a good joke, but stopped short. “Oh Erica, don’t be so hard on yourself. I’ll help you with it. Let me just put Lucas down into his chair real quick. I’ll be back.”
Amy walked over to his chair, effortlessly put him in the seat and clipped him in. She turned back and saw me just watching her in awe.
“C’mon Erica, let’s get the kettle on. You know this is all part of the early stages, right?”
“Yes, but…”
“No buts. Look you do realise… technically, you now can call yourself a body builder, right? You did build a body.”
Amy turned and pointed to Lucas, as if to say, ‘Exhibit A’. Lucas looked completely unaware of what was going on, but was fussing, which only meant one thing – it was nearly time for his next bottle.
“Speaking of which… did you hear?”
“Hear what?”
Amy began giggling, which only meant one thing and I wasn’t sure if I was ready.
“Well, since we were talking of bodybuilding… Frankenstein decided to enter a bodybuilding competition. When he arrived, he realised that he misunderstood the competition objective.”
“Oh God, that’s terrible.” I tried to say between laughs.
I reached over to the kettle, flicked the switch, and then looked in the cupboard above and pulled out two cups.
After Amy saw my demeanour change and knowing that she did her job to make me feel just that little more human again, she walked over to the cupboard, pulled out a small plate and took it to the table. I watched her fish through her handbag, only to reveal a box of my favourite biscuits, proving to me that she knew that it was always the little things that mattered most.
Joanne Macias is a multi-disciplinary creative, having featured in both online and print publications which includes Living Stories, Best of Times, The Sour Collective, Two Wolves Digest, Short Stories Unlimited, Roi Fainéant plus many more. She loves finding interesting ways to challenge reader perception through unique scenarios in everyday settings. She embarks on her first residency in Ireland in 2025 where she will complete her first poetry collection. You can follow her adventures at @joanne_macias_writer